new features featuring an advanced feature set

NEW features Featuring an Advanced Feature Set:

I’m a year older than I was, as of last weekend.

Tigers [i]will[/i] win.

I broke my ankle, got some surgery last week.

I’m now a cyborg. stainless steal inserted into my ankle. Mine came especially with a tiny chipset and sensor, so apparently, if functioning correctly, my bionic ankle will hurt when bad weather is coming. This option cost me $349.99 USD extra.

I quit my job at LUX MAGAZINE. I was being paid a flat rate and was working longer and longer hours. I did the math and realized that I was working 50 hours a week for $2.50/hour.
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whew.